Bag Chaser Syndrome: Wanting To Skip To The Money Part

 

 Bag Chaser Syndrome, Wanting To Skip To The Money Part, & The Affects Of Not Being Supported

If It Don't Come Fast Enough...

See that be my problem!

I be ready to move around to the next "shiny ball", because why the f**k is it taking soooooooo long?! Yes I see all the successful people that been at things for years before they pop and I get it. But it's been years!

I also understand that I have tried 1,000 things, but that's just part of me trying to find myself. It's a real problem with being an oscillating Gemini. I get frustrated because there's so many layers and dimensions to my being and I don't want to just "pick one".

The Vent

My thing is I wouldn't have to "chase the bag" if I had enough support in the opportunitiess that I create. I'm like a scientist trying to configure the perfect formula! Is it me? Is it my website theme? Is it the products? I have great customer service... or do I? I have great reviews...maybe it's my pricing? Is it too high? Maybe it's too low? Am I even in the right field? Maybe it's because it's not resonating with my soul passion? Do I have to show more of me? Do I gotta show less of me? Sometimes I feel like i'm running in damn circles! Yesterday and today is just one of those overwhelm moments, and to think 2025 JUST STARTED!

I really try not to slip into that rabbit hole of darkness and despair because it is a slippery slope when I allow myself to go there. I start thinking about why the f**k am I here? Really? Why no one shows up for me in the ways I would show up for them? Why doesn't my father love me? I'm his only child... and it just usually goes to s**t from there, so I have created all these healing modalities for myself to practice and share them within my community in hopes it would help others, but i'm human and it's been one of those days. I don't want to do s**t but I have to because if not how would I get out of this valley?

Hard Times Don't Last Always

I innerstand life has it's ebbs and flows. It feels great when things are flowing, but those ebbs are hell. I am learning to take all of it with a spoon of honey, and I try not to complain. I am the affirmation queen so I know the affects of negative thinking and speaking negative affirmations over one's self. I just want to be there already. THERE meaning, traveling the world, living in my international home, eating at some of the most luxurious restaurants, doing lit s**t with some amazingly genuine souls. Where we all winning and there's no slimy, grimy, back biting bulls**t. The moment i'm back to having heavy motion and able to do whatever TF I want, whenerver TF I want. That is the sweet life! Ouuuuu yes honey! I can barely wait for it. I can literally taste it!

I guess right now, i'm just at the point where i'm feeling the pressure a little more. I'm getting older, the kids are growing, I'm not 100 percent where I want to be, although I ain't where I used to be I ain't too far from it either! And I don't want to just be around the corner from the girl I used to be. I need to be far removed from her. 

So Now What?

My a** is back in school! *Deep Sigh* for medical at that! Totally opposite from what i'm into now. I used to be in medical before. But I am watching the trends, and paying attention to what's lasting and what's fleeting. At least with medical I can take that and move anywhere and work in that industry and even be a floater if I choose. I am still in finances and also have to study for my real estate license. ALL INDUSTRIES THAT MAKE GOOD MONEY BUT I AM NOT IN THE GENERATING FLOW OF EITHER ONE OF THEM AT THIS MOMENT WHICH IS WHY I AM HERE VENTING BECAUSE I JUST WANT TO SKIP TO THE MONEY PART!

Not to toot my own horn, but I just know too much s**t and am too good at what I do to be in the situation i'm in and not be fully supported. So I always find myself sifting and shifting and there lies the frustration, because why is everybody so BRRRRROOOOKKEEE?! This is one of the main reasons I got into finances was to educate my community because why TF is eveybody so broke?! (Obviously not EVERYBODY) but the audience I was trying to serve and all my mentors are telling me: stop focusing on the broke people. *Deep Sigh* The problem is just that, society has stopped focusing on the broke people while capitalizing off of them, and that is what I am passionate about changing. The ones who got it, got theirs already. So I have to figure something out! Until then...i'm going back into the medical field because the money gotta equal up to my aspirations and I can't do it on this budget!

LASTLY, THE ONE'S WHO NEVER HELP ALWAYS NEED YOU LATER...

I hope they don't ask me for a d**n thing! Although I say that, my heart is so kind, i'll probably still end up assisting their crab a**es anyway! But no, seriously, no one ever wants to help you do s**t but as soon as you back up and in motion here they go! Naw. 

Keep that same energy B! 

Now I know why when people come from nothing and work their way to something they frown on those who have a sense of entitilement, because what?! You can't even fathom how long, and what it took me to get HERE. That's the vibes. That, "mannnnn listennnnn, it took alot for me to get here" energy, and you was either opposition, or didn't support the mission, aye, I will never forget who did and who didn't.

Think about some of the people in your life right now that can literally help you on your journey where it don't even have to be like it is, but intentionally chose for you to be f***ed up rather than help. Especially knowing your character and hustle, knowing you not no "hand out" type a bissh and you GO. There are people who have seen openings for opportunities that they KNEW you would be good for and would never drop your name, call your phone, connect you, plug your business, share your website, your card, their testimony from dealing with you or nothing. Bet. Let you hit the lottery tomorrow and don't give them anything and they will talk about you like a DOG! Knowing they never messed with you like that and still have the expectation that you should bless them, and that's crazy! But yeah, even the simple act of putting your business on automated, something that would bring you financial freedom is an investment. Everything comes with a cost, and as the saying goes: "you gotta pay the cost to be the boss".

The time is coming and when it does! So help me God...and that's just how i'm feeling today.

Until next time- Stay Fly.

-A Fly Gemini